As Seen On TV

So in case you haven’t heard, I committed economic suicide and quit my job at camp just before Thanksgiving. I’m back in Texas, where I’ve come to learn I was paid so little that I could have qualified for food stamps. So as it turns out, it wasn’t much of an economic risk as I thought it was going to be.

Anyway, I’m back in Houston and have been getting my stuff sorted out. When I came home from Iraq, I sort of sorted it, because I moved to North Carolina shortly after I got back. This time around, I’ve been a wee bit more thorough, but not much, because I don’t really know where I’m headed to next, but that isn’t the point.

The point is… what the hell do we need a snuggie for?

Seriously, when did it become impossible for us to put on a sweater in our house that we now need a giant blanket with arms in it? Great big, baggy, oversized arms, no less.

And you want to convince me that this is good for my nieces, too? Hell, the little one would be swallowed whole by this thing. One size fits all? I don’t think so.

It’s a robe people. Worn backwards. It’s like a hospital gown on steroids, actually, because the damned thing doesn’t meet to wrap around, like a robe does. And I’m just saying that the action shot they have of the family sitting on metal bleachers outside all wrapped up in their fleece monstrosities…. You know that little old lady was bitching to high heaven about freezing her ass off and the little girl has some serious wounds under hers, too, from tripping over the damned thing.

And someone, somewhere, is making money off of this sh*t. C’mon people, we’re in a recession, but we’re not desperate enough to buy this crap. Just make a home made gift certificate for one home cooked meal, or a foot massage. Trust me, it’s a way better deal all around.

This as seen on TV crap has got to go is all I’m saying. Wasn’t the bedazzler good enough? Now we have to have the GeMagic tool. And just how hard is it, really, to turn a light switch on or off that we now have to have a remote control operated one that works through walls?

Now I can see the potential for mischief with that last one… but as a rule, it’s just not that freaking hard to go to a lamp and turn it on. Or off. Or on again. And if you really struggle with the little toggle switch, get a touch lamp. My grandma had one back in the 80s, and seriously, the dog could have worked that lamp with his nose. A remote control… not so much.

Time to turn off the tv, I think…