Up on the roof top drip drip drip

There is just something about this family, major holidays and broken appliances. One year it’s the microwave. Another year it’s the entire kitchen. And this year… it’s the freaking hot water heater. We have such good luck in other ways, but I’d really prefer this appliance/holiday chaos went away also.

This morning when I finally went downstairs, long after the heathens I live with had completed their start of the day routines, I stepped outside to get a soda out of the beer fridge. You know, that’s the refrigerator where you put all the beer and other stuff, so you’re never without a cold drink. No food, just drinks. Okay, maybe some condiments, but that’s it.

So when I was coming back in, I noticed water dripping from this little pvc pipe that was sticking out of the wall about four inches above the ground. Now I’ve spent a lot of time in this house, both when I was a kid and recently, and I’ve never seen water, or anything else for that matter, come out of that pipe. Color me confused.

I put my head inside and hollered for my dad, because well, I haven’t been here forever, so I don’t know everything. The conversation went something like this:

“What’s that pipe for?”

“Dunno. It’s leaking though.”

“Yep. That’s why I called you out here. Got any ideas on what it could be?”

“Not really, Keir.”

And that’s when the last of the information was used up, because apparently he hasn’t seen anything other than a bumble bee checking out some real estate come out of that pipe, either.

Turns out that pipe is the hot water heater drain pan overflow. The stupid hot water heater drain valve has decided that today is a good day to die. I disagree, but apparently my vote is unimportant. So I spent some time in the attic, on the phone, in the attic, on the phone, in the attic, on the internet, and on the phone trying to get a consensus on what we should do. My Dad, whom I love, is not the most mechanically inclined. Neither am I. The one who IS mechanically inclined, by comparison, resides in Pittsburgh. Way to help out the family by moving, Bro.

Anyway, a little brass cap with a Teflon washer was put (oh no you don’t Mr. Spellcheck, I’ll use a lowercase “t” in teflon all I want, thankyouverymuch) on the valve stem and the driiiiiiiiiiiiiiip driiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip driiiiiiiiiiiiiips were thought to be coming to an end. But in reality they became driiiiip driiiip driiiip, which became drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip shortly thereafter. And naturally, five minutes before Home Depot and Lowes closed for the night, it became dripdripdripdripdripdripdripdripdrip dripdripdripdripdripdripdripdripdrip. Greeeaaaaaaat.

Frankly, I think appliances around here don’t like the holidays because we make them do extra work. I can’t blame them, but seriously, get with the program. Give me a warning BEFORE the parts stores close, so I can give you the love you need.

So Christmas Eve will find my Dad cruising to the hardware store and me in ratty old clothes as we drain the tank and swap out the valves. Because this adventure has to happen early in the morning, just in case something else is wrong, and we can still get parts. On the plus side, though, I did fix the furnace while I was up there, so that’s one appliance which isn’t going to give out on us tomorrow.