WOW! I've never seen someone do that before...

"Wow! I've never seen someone do that before!"

"I"m flexible, I guess." Great, so that's great. You've never seen someone do that before. Can you just shoot the damned x-ray already so I can get my toe taped up and get out of here already?

"No really, where'd you learn to fan your toes out like that?"

"I swim a lot, and I guess it's given me flexible feet." Seriously, can we get on with this because while I might be good at holding my toes out in that pretty, perfect fan you've never seen before, I'm cramping up because of my big, fat, swollen toe. You know, the one that is purple on top and on bottom.

"Wow. The doctor is going to be so impressed with this x-ray."

"Cool."

"Most people can fan out their fingers, but you're the first one I've ever seen be able to do it with their toes in the 17 years I've been shooting films."

"Uh huh." Toes are still cramping here, press the damned button already.

"Can you do it with your other foot?"

"Yes. I can also spread my toes apart like I splay my fingers. Will that help you get these images done?" Oh shit, I said that out loud. I hope she doesn't want that because that's going to hurt like hell.

"No, but that is so cool! You can relax now and we'll walk back to your exam room."

Greatttttttt. Everyone likes walking on a cold tile floor barefoot with a big, fat, swollen, purple toe!


And the doctor didn't say a damned thing when he came into the room. I guess only the x-ray tech was impressed with my nimble toes. I want you all to be impressed though, so I'm sharing the picture here. Be very impressed. Possibly even jealous. Your call.

It's a hairline fracture. And the doctor didn't want to tape it today because it's all big, fat and swollen and would probably bug me more to have it taped than to have it loose. Also, he told me it'll hurt for several weeks, and then if it continues to hurt after that, I should just suck it up. Okay, so he didn't actually say suck it up. He actually said, verbatim "walk it off."

Then he offered up some vicodin, which I passed on. Some 800 mg Motrin is more than enough, thank you.

Been a fun day, really. Hope your Saturday had more adventure than mine.